From: Daniel Burgess
Subject: Alpine skiing...aye there's the rub
Date: Sat, 5 Mar 2005 00:25:43 -0500

Yesterday, I went alpine skiing at one of the local mountains... For those
who have never gone, suffice it to say that skiing and barefooting do NOT
under any circumstances belong in the same sentence! (although I DID manage
to go barefoot over lunchtime in the ski chalet :-) You have to coop your
feet up in a very cramped boot which locks your ankle in a vertical
position.  I make my feet suffer this indignity but once a year for the
pleasure of sliding down a snow-covered mountain standing up (and to humor
my wife ;-)

Be that as it may, after recuperating for a day, I have devised this little
parody of one of Master Shakespeare's most famous soliloquies.  It kinda
sums up my feelings about skiing.  To the extent possible, I've tried to
keep the rhythm, words and punctuation of the original. Enjoy!

To ski or not to ski; THAT is the question: 
Wether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer 
The slings and arrows of outrageous ski boots, 
Or to be up in arms against a sea of faces,
And, by opposing, stop them (from laughing at me, for going barefoot in the
  ski chalet.)
To ski, to wear ski boots - No more!! and by wearing ski boots to say we end 
The footaches and the thousand natural shocks 
That feet are heir to - 'Tis a DREAM 
Devoutly to be wished! To ski, to wear ski boots. 
To wear ski boots perchance to blister! !  Aye there's the rub!! 
For in that plastic encasement, what blisters may come
When we have shuffled off this steep mountain 
must give us pause.  There's the respect 
That makes calamity of so bulky footwear!!

Dan.b, Quebec, Canada